2020-The Year I was taking back my life!

2020- The year I was taking back my life!

For some of you 2020 has been a total upset of your life and for others maybe not so much. For all of us we could have never predicted what 2020 has become.   We had some pretty big life changes 2017-2019 and I had to step away from coaching and teaching.   About a year ago this month, I had vowed to make 2020 the year I take back the reins and continue my mission to empower all of you to create amazing relationships with those around you.   2020 delayed that a bit but here I am.  I wanted to encourage and share with you the biggest lessons I have taken from this year.

1.  Spend time focusing on what you can control around you instead of what you can’t.  What you focus on is what you feel.

2.  Allowing yourself to feel and process your emotions is so important to help you move forward in a healthy and positive way.  It’s ok to feel each emotion but ask yourself:   “What meaning am I giving to it that is making me feel this way?”

3.  The daily habits you have or don’t have really make a difference no matter what is going on in the world.  Self care has never been so important to maintain a healthy mind and body.  If you want to change your mood.  Move your body!  My 6 year old has the record of 237 burpees!

4.  As a homeschool mom,  I have been praised over the years by all of you for being able to do it.  2020 created something that was even more challenging.  Distance learning.  I give all of you parents 2 gold stars for having to do that.  My advice?  Focus on the relationship with your child first.  Don’t let academics become more important.  

This year and all it’s struggles will be a memory soon enough but the wonderful memories you created with your loved ones will always shine brighter!

Blessings to you and your family!

Deanna Simonson

P.S.  I am accepting new clients to my coaching practice.  If you know of anyone who would benefit from coaching, I would love your referral!   Please refer them to my website http://www.pivotal-step.com to sign up for a free discovery session.  Thank you!

Deanna is deeply passionate about helping people create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As a mother of 9 and a wife, Deanna has the privilege to develop and hone her skills on a daily basis.  She is an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, life coaching strategies and motivational speaking. From Fortune 500 Companies, pediatric hospitals to church camps, Deanna has served a wide variety of clients, and tailors each session to meet their needs.  Deanna will give you the tools to take your life, personal relationships and family to a whole new level of fulfillment.

Confidence – A gift to your child.

If you had to pick one quality to teach your child that would give them the best advantage in life, what would you pick?

My pick?

Confidence.

The confidence to stand up for what they believe in.

The confidence to fail because failure is going to happen as you learn and grow.

The confidence to stand up to those that aren’t treating them as they should be treated.

The confidence to try new things.

The confidence to make new friends.

The confidence to be true to themselves and not give in to peer pressure.

The confidence to…..  You fill in the blank.

Here are a few ways to help give them confidence.

1. Let them know that you believe in them and their ability to make mistakes and fix them.

2. Teach and correct them without harsh words.

3. Gently teach and  guide them when they are dealing with the consequences from their actions.

Remember the Golden Rule “Treat others the way you would like to be treated.”  It’s a wonderful guide for us.

We all make mistakes even as adults, so let’s give our children the confidence to face any challenges that come their way!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson

Feel like you could use more confidence as a parent?  I would love to help!  Sign up for your free coaching session today! http://www.pivotal-step.com

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life.  Her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can flourish. For further information please visit her website www.pivotal-step.com.

Sorting my rocks

Sometimes.. ok I lied… most times I feel like my head is full of rocks and I need to sort them out.  I want to share with you what’s worked for me lately.

I have 7 kids and the more organized I can be the happier I am.  So sometimes in the line of parenting I can’t keep track of who’s kept my rocks(sanity) in place and which children have drained them.  So here is what I came up with and I’m happy to share in case this may be something that might help you!

Two things I have in abundance over here are mason jars and rocks.  If you don’t have either, just find something that is similar that you do have and run with it.

So I have a jar labeled with each child and they each have 15 rocks inside.  Whenever they do something that drains my sanity, I take a rock.  So examples of this would be fighting or teasing siblings, not getting their homework or jobs done in a timely manner, and anything else that may happen that I feel is robbing me of my sanity.

SO when the time comes that one of my kids wants me to do something extra for them beyond caring for their basic needs (feed, clothed and watered :-)) I ask them how their rock count is doing.  If they still have all 15 rocks then the answer is YES.  If not then the answer is NO until they have earned all their rocks back.

Possible ways they can earn them back are extra chores on top of their regular ones.  Foot, back or head massage given to mom.  My favorite 🙂  Or taking care of a sibling while I make dinner or school the other children.  I also let my kids negotiate their jobs with how many rocks the job is worth or what kind of job they think they should do.  I feel like negotiating with them is a great learning experience as well as making it more fun for them!

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can flourish. For further information please visit her website http://www.pivotal-step.com.

Mom it begins with you.

You carried them inside you.

You gave birth to them.

Now you have become a parent and have the most difficult but most rewarding job on the planet.

I remember before I had kids, I was terrified to have my own someday because of the huge responsibility that comes with it.

Now 7 children later it isn’t so terrifying.  I am still challenged but extremely blessed.

I am about to share my journey with you so hang on tight.  I really want you to join me as we navigate this world of parenting because the challenges never stop.  But neither do the blessings.

Three of my biggest aha moments that I keep going back to as a parent:

1.  When I am completely lost and don’t have any idea where to turn.  I return to LOVE.  It’s how it all started and it’s why we are all here.  We all need love.  We all want love.
2. The quality of my life is determined by the quality of my relationships with those I love.
3.  The more I work on myself, the happier my family and relationships are.

Yep.

Work. On. Me.

As in my mental, emotional and physical health.

You have time.  Trust me.  We all make time for what we feel is most important.  If you want to enjoy this journey through parenthood and live a vibrant and full life,  it’s the key that unlocks it all.  You Mom.  You are more powerful than you know.

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson

In the upcoming weeks I will be opening up to only a few selected Mom’s, a brand new program to help you unlock the power within you.  For you who knows that there is more to life then the current state you are in.

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can flourish. For further information please visit her website http://www.pivotal-step.com.

 

Failure is Awesome!

Yikes.. still changing my perspective on that one as well…

but it’s true.  You need to fail in order to correct things or redirect things.  Or most importantly learn and grow!

One recent example from my life…

The rules in our house with electronics is that you stay in the livingroom when using them and if you want to watch something that hasn’t already been approved, you ask mom and dad before you watch it.

So I left my 2 boys home with my husband while he was working and I get a text from my husband that he couldn’t believe that I would let my boys watch this video.

Rule #1 Before you get defensive gather information.

What video? Are they learning?

Of course I didn’t recognize the name but it was some army video. A graphic one.

I knew I wouldn’t have ok’d it.

So being away from home I had some time to think. HOW can this be a learning opportunity?  So I decided that when I get home I’ll have a conversation with my boys and it went something like this.

Rule #2  Don’t accuse or get angry.  Just ask them like a normal conversation.

Me “You want to tell me what you were watching?”

Boys “Yea some army video you said we could watch.”

I remember giving permission for other army videos so decided to not deny saying they could watch this particular one.  Instead I focused on what they already knew and how I want them to make good choices.

Me “How does it make you feel when you watch those types of videos?”

Boys “I don’t know” (typical answer right?)

Me “Have I given you permission in the past to watch those kind of graphic videos?”

Boys “No.”

Me “Do you understand why?”

Boys “Yea they make us fight more.” (This conversation had already been addressed.  How violent games make us act more aggressive towards each other.)

Me “Mom isn’t always going to be around to decide what is ok and what isn’t ok for you to watch and I really want to trust that you will be able to make that decision on your own.  Do you think that is something I can trust you with?”

Boys “Yea…”

Me “Ok and I will trust that next time you can make a better decision.  I love you.”

What a great conversation that I was able to have with my boys all because I failed…

So maybe you are wondering what the consequences are?  Usually the first offense is a conversation like above.  After that if it happens again then the tablet is taken away until they can come up with a good solution so this mom doesn’t have to worry anymore about them watching things they aren’t supposed to.  I also have their tablets set up to email me with things they are playing and downloading.

Change your perspective and allow for more opportunities to learn and grow!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can flourish. For further information please contact her at pivotalstep@gmail.com.

Sometime the train slows down.

Life

Best resilience training I’ve ever had.

Over the past year I have had the rollercoaster trip of my life. It started with the loss of our baby boy at 19 weeks. Then lots of ups and downs in the middle. Towards the end of the year was blessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy.

When life hands us challenges I often step back and ask what I am supposed to learn from all of this.

It was time to slow my train down and reflect on what was most important.

My faith.
My family.
My blessings.

Now that a year has gone by it’s time to start doing more of what I love again. Helping others that may have the same challenges as me.

SO time to get this train rolling again and start sharing what I have been working on. This past year has given me new energy and insight to work on my passion and make it come alive!

Blessings to a new year!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson
Deanna is deeply passionate about helping people live happy and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As a mother and a wife, Deanna has the privilege to develop and hone her skills on a daily basis. She is an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, life coaching strategies and motivational speaking. From pediatric hospitals to church camps and fortune 500 company, Deanna has served a wide variety of clients, and tailors each presentation to meet their needs. Deanna will give you the tools to take your life, personal relationships and family to a whole new level of success. For further information please contact her at http://www.pivotal-step.com.

5 Steps to reset your day.

Have you ever started your day and wished that you could wake up and start all over again?

Have you ever caught yourself arguing with your child and think after, “that wasn’t very productive!”

The insanity of it all. Kids fighting, you didn’t have enough sleep the night before, up with sick kids or maybe sick yourself. Whatever it is you are long since ready to throw in the towel for the day and call it quits!

The good news is that you can start again without having to wait for tomorrow! Here are the 5 steps to restart your day!

1. STOP! Ask everyone involved to gather in one place. This could be a room of your house, in the car, or maybe when you are waiting at the bus stop. You can also do this individually if it’s not possible to get everyone in the same place.

2. USE EMPATHY! Empathy opens our mind and heart to learning. “It really makes me sad when we all behave like this and can’t get along.” Then you could ask them how it makes them feel.

3. COMMUNICATE! We are all more understanding of one another when we know what is causing the negative behavior. It might sound something like this, “I’m really tired right now because ______ and so I really need your help.”

4. REPLACE THE BEHAVIOR! Talk about what wasn’t working and what you can do next time. Ex. As a parent if I haven’t gotten enough sleep and maybe woke with a headache, I could let my kids know first thing and what I would love for them to do to help me. If the kids are fighting have them think of ways to handle the situation differently. If we don’t plan what we could do instead, it is very difficult for things to change!

5. APOLOGIZE! We all make mistakes and say and do things that aren’t so nice. Try say something like, “I am really sorry for being impatient and getting upset with you, can you forgive me?” It is amazing how freeing it is to admit our own faults and apologize!

It amazes me every time how well this works to reset my day when things aren’t going well!

Would love to hear how it works for you!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna Simonson

Deanna is deeply passionate about helping people live happy and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As a mother and a wife, Deanna has the privilege to develop and hone her skills on a daily basis. She is an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, life coaching strategies and motivational speaking. From pediatric hospitals to church camps, Deanna has served a wide variety of clients, and tailors each presentation to meet their needs. Deanna will give you the tools to take your life, personal relationships and family to a whole new level of success. For further information please contact her at http://www.pivotal-step.com.

Why we fail….

Have you set goals and then failed to reach them?

People who succeed are those with a high willingness to struggle.

2016 is going to be an amazing year but also a struggle. We will run into days when we just want to give up on pursuing our goals because the struggle is too great.

Let’s look at the year by accepting that there will be struggles and figure out how we can make them easier.

People who make it through the hard challenges and succeed are those who face their challenges rather than sitting back and avoiding them. They don’t just face them but have acquired the mindset and skill to face the challenge.

Think about people who have run marathons. They train for it. They study it. They struggle while they are training. Maybe it’s a knee that starts bothering them after running the 11th mile. What do they do? Do they give up? Some do but those that honor the struggle and figure out how to fix the problem are the ones who succeed.

What will you do when you face those struggles in 2016? Will you let them stop you or will you find the skills to make it easier? Will you face it with a positive attitude? A great indicator of how you will handle your struggles is to look at your past. Were you negative and hopeless? Did you have the skills to deal with them?

The more I learn, the more I can face the struggles with confidence. Being a mother of 6, I have challenges daily. But instead of feeling helpless and frustrated not knowing how to handle it, I can put to use my knowledge and skills.

If you have goals for 2016 take a moment to anticipate and write down the possible struggles you might have while trying to achieve your goals. Learn as much as you can and acquire the skills so that you can face the struggles with confidence knowing that you can and will make it through!

To your best year yet,

Deanna Simonson

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can flourish. For further information please contact her at pivotalstep@gmail.com.

“I don’t know how you do it!”

“I don’t know how you do it!”

I have heard that phrase about a dozen times in the past 24 hours.  At the gym, grocery store, wherever I go.  It wasn’t always directed at me, but other parents with children.

Guess what folks,

“Whether you think you can or can’t, YOU’RE RIGHT!” – Henry Ford

Yes so I have 6 kids, and yes it makes things more challenging but guess what?

Attitude is everything.

Sometimes I try to talk myself into believing that I can’t, but those are just excuses that I come up with because I don’t want to make myself feel uncomfortable. Yes people look at me like I am crazy when I haul my 6 kids around with me, but so does the lady who just has one or two and can’t control them.

I know how you feel,  I have been there myself.  I felt out of control with my kids and just wanted to stay home.  And I did until I found Love and Logic.  IT CHANGED MY LIFE!  And it can change yours too!  With any job in life.  If we have the right tools it can be more fun and rewarding!

Its up to you to decide whether you think you can or can’t.  But just remember, either way, you’re right!

To your parenting journey,

Deanna

Deanna Simonson is passionate about helping people live and create a vibrant, fulfilling life. As an expert in Love and Logic parenting methods, her coaching and speaking presentations are tailored around parenting, relationships, and health. With the right tools, your personal relationships can be deeply enhanced.  For further information please contact her at pivotalstep@gmail.com.

The loves of your life.

I recently attended an online relationship seminar called “Passion patterns” by Magali Peysha.  I want to share a little of what I learned.

There are three “Passion Patterns”

Passion Pattern #1- Timing

What is the most challenging part of your day? This would be a time when your loved one is trying to connect with you and you are impatient or grumpy.

Step 1.  Share your timing challenge with your partner/child.  Its very helpful to admit and own your timing challenge.  It also helps your partner understand why you have been behaving like you do.

Step 2.  Make a date where you will be present.  Talk about a time in your day when you can connect when you are both feeling your best.

Step 3.  Make a code word for when you’re exhausted.  If not a code work then some sort of signal to your partner that helps them understand that you are having a hard time right now.

Passion Pattern #2- Greeting

How do you respond to your partner when you see each other?  How can you “wow” your partner when you approach them?  Take a minute right now and write down how you think your partner would like to be greeted.

Passion Pattern #3  Own your fatigue

How many of you can remember a time when you came home tired and a disagreement followed?  Fatigue hurts your relationships.  We all need time to recharge.

Step 1.  What is your word for it?  Tired, exhausted, drained?

Step 2.  Interview your fatigue.  What causes it?  How does it feel?

Step 3.  How have you been using your fatigue?  Have you been hurting or helping others when you are fatigued?

Ask your family for help to recharge.  Let them help you.  Communicate with them what level of fatigue you are at and what you are doing to overcome it.  The Love and Logic “Energy Drain” is my favorite! 🙂

Each life stage that we go through we have different energy levels.  Make your date times for when you have the most energy vs low energy.

Going into the weekend, what “Passion Pattern” will you work on?

To your parenting journey,

Deanna

Come join us for our next Love and Logic Class!

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